“Mother,” I slowly repeated in Korean. “I am not a boy. I am a girl. I am transgender.” My face reddened, and tears blurred my vision. I braced myself for her rejection and the end to a relationship that had only begun.

Silence again filled the room. I searched my mother’s eyes for any signs of shock, disgust or sadness. But a serene expression lined her face as she sat with ease on the couch. I started to worry that my words had been lost in translation. Then my mother began to speak.

“Mommy knew,” she said calmly through my friend, who looked just as dumbfounded as I was by her response. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”

“What? How?”

“Birth dream,” my mother replied. In Korea some pregnant women still believe that dreams offer a hint about the gender of their unborn child. “I had dreams for each of your siblings, but I had no dream for you. Your gender was always a mystery to me.”

I wanted to reply but didn’t know where to begin. My mother instead continued to speak for both of us. “Hyun-gi,” she said, stroking my head. “You are beautiful and precious. I thought I gave birth to a son, but it is OK. I have a daughter instead.”

Andy Marra, The Beautiful Daughter: How My Korean Mother Gave Me the Courage to Transition

such a beautiful story. as a queer person, waiting is filled with anxiety about what to say, how much of myself and my life would i be able to reveal? the fear of rejection is so huge, but i also desperately want my family to know me, my life, my trials, my triumphs.

i just want to look into someone’s eyes and see myself, feel like i look like someone, like i can see where i came from. i want to know if i am an oppa or hyung.

i want to know if i had a name.

i have heard all the stories, all the possibilities from bad to good that can happen when you find your birth family. but this…this is the best. the absolute best.

(via glittergeek)


On Representation

freedominwickedness:

lucypaw:

widdershinsgirl:

freedominwickedness:

mnome:

freedominwickedness:

The way that trans men and other CAFAB trans people constantly claim that they are “underrepresented” within the LGBT community and deserve more resources is literally a textbook example of CAFAB trans people exhibiting male privilege over not only CAMAB trans people but also cis women.

Because the reality is that the overwhelming majority of Western transphobia specifically targets CAMAB trans people (including a staggering 98% of all anti-trans violence), and yet substantially more resources already cater primarily or exclusively to CAFAB trans people. And yet trans males constantly demand more, even to the point of demanding that women’s spaces exclude trans women and decenter cis women.

Moreover, the behavior of CAFAB trans people in this regard precisely mirrors the behavior of cis males, whom studies have shown consistently perceive women as “dominating the conversation” anytime we speak more than 30% of the time. So when CAFAB trans people claim that they are “underrepresented” in trans spaces, what they are really expressing is anger that they are not being permitted to monopolize and dominate trans spaces the way cis men monopolize and dominate mainstream spaces.

Question: since when did our CASABs dictate our gender? Cuz, last I checked, I am not male based solely on my assigned sex. Lulz, do you know who do believe casab = gender? radscum. Jussayin. There is a way to talk about fucked up shit without being erasive and misgendering. For instance:

- Trans spaces are dominated by trans men.

- Trans men access male privilege and get away w/ it by saying that being trans negates male priv.

- Too many spaces and materials rely on asab, and focus attentions on cafab trans folks (which is binarist and cissexist, as well as being transmisogynistic)

These sentences convey the same sentiment without being fucked.

But when you use “cafab” and “trans males/men” interchangeably, you ignore the fact that non-binary people ARE NOT MEN. They are no more men when they are CAFAB than when they are CAMAB. And if you want to talk about casab within non-binary communities, I will gladly talk to other non-binary folks, fuck off you binary trans folks sticking your noses where they don’t belong.

TLDR: Yes, trans guys, fuck off. Actually think about what male privilege means. Trans spaces need to stop focusing on CASAB, and especially privileging CAFAB over CAMAB, and at the complete erasure of intersex trans folks as well. And we need to stop saying cafab = male, camab = female.

First and foremost, you are grossly and offensively incorrect in assuming that I am a binary gendered trans person.

Second, you are also grossly and offensively incorrect in assuming that I believe that all CAFAB trans people are trans men. I am fully aware that CAFAB trans people do not necessarily identify as male. What you are ignoring — perhaps ignorantly, perhaps willfully — is that CAFAB trans people have male privilege even when they do not identify as male.

And third, because of the second point, a CAFAB trans person silencing a CAMAB trans person about CAFAB privilege is still fucking oppressive, regardless of whether either of the two is binary. Childhood invisibility is still a fuckton better than the sexualizing, pathologizing bullshit that CAMAB trans people go through.

“CAFAB privilege” (especially “CAFAB trans people have male privilege”) is bullshit.  It relies upon the idea that all trans people who were cafab are masculine/male/men and/or seen as such by society.  It relies upon a very simplistic, binarist view of childhood, where one either has this experience or that experience depending upon assigned sex.  It relies upon a hell of a lot of false assumptions that binary trans people seem to not understand they’re even making while ignoring the voices of non-binary people talking about our experiences.  It’s about theory over reality and is the same shit TERFs/radscum/shitheads do to trans women.  It’s also transphobic as hell.  Stop it.

Oh really now? I’m not a binary trans person, and I am speaking from direct personal experience when I say that CAFAB trans people clearly demonstrate male privilege — both in terms of having systemic privilege from patriarchy and in terms of consistently exhibiting male entitlement behavior — even when they do not identify as male. If you’re being utterly pedantic, you can call it “non-male derivative of male privilege”; I see no difference, as it originates from patriarchy and is entirely based on male supremacy.

So you can shut the fuck up with making false assumptions about my identity and proceeding from there with aggression and silencing.

CAFAB privilege is not bullshit, and the responses from CAFAB folk on this is proof of that. OP repeatedly informed y’all that she is not binary, but you just can’t accept that, can you? And repeatedly comparing her to radscum, bigots who regularly abuse and harass trans folk and save their most violent attacks for CAMAB individuals, because you don’t like her generalizations about a group that has and exerts privilege over a group she belongs to is so fucking disgusting I barely have words for you. You need to reevaluate your shit real quick because you sound exactly like the dudebros you’re trying to distance yourself from.

As a non-binary CAFAB person I experience privilege over CAMAB folk in many ways. My gender identity is considered much more legitimate than that of non-binary CAMAB folk; if I don’t read as cis I am at much less risk of violence than a CAMAB person who is not being read as cis; I can obtain access to all or most of the resources for trans men, which greatly outnumber the resources for trans women; if I am being read as masculine but not male people will automatically treat me with much more respect than they do CAMAB people who are being read as feminine but not female, even(and in queer space, especially) if I am femme, etc…

Even if you are always read as a cis female, OP’s statements are true. You may not benefit from all of these privileges, or enact them all in the ways that she outlines, but just because you believe you are an exception doesn’t mean that you get to derail a conversation where people are talking about the oppression and marginalization they experience by the majority of people like us. Not all individuals who are members of privileged groups experience privilege in the same way. Some people do not benefit fully, but there is never a case where a member of a privileged group does not experience some of the privilege associated with belonging to that group. People like this want to talk all day about how they don’t experience white privilege because they’re poor or they don’t experience male privilege because they’re queer, but your privilege is showing, and it’s fucking ugly.

*In this response CAFAB and CAMAB will not be qualified with “trans” because I am not referring at all to cis people and don’t consider all cis people as being coercively assigned a gender.


iamkiam-photography:

QUEER POWER!

Wes Perry, Sissy Spastik, Darling Shear, and Mister Junior
Photography by Kiam Marcelo Junio, 2012

Click on the links to connect with these fierce Chicago performers!

PLEASE REBLOG! Queer performers need more exposure! <3

(via fyqueerlatinxs)


Dear cis people who say “I go by [my assigned pronouns] but anything’s okay!”

pinebark:

Please stop. You’re not helping.

I know it must seem like a very progressive thing to do and that it’s coming from a desire to be seen as an ally, but I need you to know that it’s totally fine to tell me that your preferred pronouns are your assigned ones. It won’t make me think less of you, and it doesn’t help me to know that you’re “okay” with any pronouns. Let’s face it — getting misgendered probably isn’t a daily concern for you, and when you casually tell me that any pronouns are “fine”, it comes off as an attempt to claim a connection with me where none exists.

Just tell me what you prefer, and that’s what I’ll call you! And if you want me to know you’re working in allyship with me, then show it — don’t try to tell me.


freececemcdonald:


Dance Party Rally for CeCe


Thursday, 3:00pm
Make some noise for CeCe before her trial starts on April 30th.  Come out to the Government Center for free food and dancing - Sotaboyzz DJs will be there starting at 3pm and going until CeCe has justice.  Let’s make sure that CeCe hears us loud and clear: We love and support her no matter what.And let’s make sure that County Attorney hears us too: STOP HATE. FREE CECE.

freececemcdonald:

Dance Party Rally for CeCe
Thursday, 3:00pm

  • Make some noise for CeCe before her trial starts on April 30th.

    Come out to the Government Center for free food and dancing - Sotaboyzz DJs will be there starting at 3pm and going until CeCe has justice.

    Let’s make sure that CeCe hears us loud and clear: We love and support her no matter what.

    And let’s make sure that County Attorney hears us too: STOP HATE. FREE CECE.

freececemcdonald:

!Support the CeCe Support Committee!
The CeCe Support Committee needs 10 groups of people to make vegan and gluten-free lunches for 40 people, and then drop them off downtown during CeCe’s trial.
If you are a group of folks who want to make a meal, please take a sec to create an account at our meal Train page -&gt; http://www.mealtrain.com/?id=mo36ui4r9tgt
Or call Tj O’Connor (me!), at (651) FLOUTED.
If you’re looking for more people to cook with (or for recipe ideas, or someone to transport the food downtown), you can post here with this info:
-A little about your cooking interests
-Who you’re interested in cooking with
-How other people can get in contact with you (if FB isn’t your preferred method).
 We’re dressing like royalty to show our support for CeCe; we need your help so that court support folks are eating like royalty too! Thank you so much!

freececemcdonald:

!Support the CeCe Support Committee!

The CeCe Support Committee needs 10 groups of people to make vegan and gluten-free lunches for 40 people, and then drop them off downtown during CeCe’s trial.

If you are a group of folks who want to make a meal, please take a sec to create an account at our meal Train page -> http://www.mealtrain.com/?id=mo36ui4r9tgt

Or call Tj O’Connor (me!), at (651) FLOUTED.

If you’re looking for more people to cook with (or for recipe ideas, or someone to transport the food downtown), you can post here with this info:

-A little about your cooking interests

-Who you’re interested in cooking with

-How other people can get in contact with you (if FB isn’t your preferred method).

 We’re dressing like royalty to show our support for CeCe; we need your help so that court support folks are eating like royalty too! Thank you so much!


vizzz:

(10 trans women who were killed by hate crimes. the other 10 are located here)

(via vzzzzzzz-deactivated20120707)